I finished my first essay for UVa yesterday (“How do the career plans you indicated on your application fit in with your degree, rabble rabble rabble?”). Well, with the exception of one or two more ass-kissing closing sentences. I’m not fabulous at the ass-kissery, so it may be sitting in Word with the paper clip yelling at me to JUST END IT GODDAMNIT until March 2, which is when it’s due. I also have to get on the second one, which is a little more blatantly college-essay-ish: If you could invite three people to dinner, living, dead, or fictional, who would they be and why? I think I’m gonna invite Ian and perhaps John Hughes. I had thought about calling Dr. Strangelove, too, but once I remembered John Hughes was dead, that negated another movie-oriented thing. The University being The University, one of them needs to be more academic and less pop culture nerd. Meaning a literary figure. Maybe I’ll ask Malachi Constant to come along…but would a Vonnegut character be a little too faux-intelligencia for their taste? Jesus. I did not miss this bullshit when I scraped by my senior year and applied to VCU, and that was it. VCU didn’t even ask for a big, scary essay-type essay. They just asked why I wanted to go there, and I fruited it up a little by making it a hybrid of their question and the essay I had to write for my AP English class that was too OK to go to waste. But now, here I am, almost 19 years old and a sophomore in college, and applying to colleges like high schoolers do. I wonder, have I just been treating VCU like a community college or, worse, finishing school for the dreadfully inner-city Southern belle?