1. Did they seriously just end the show with a chorus of indigent kids from Staten Island singing “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” as all the night’s winners magically appeared - statuette in hand - from behind a scrim? And how has it fucking taken the Academy eighty three years to do that?
2. So you have Colin Firth as King George narrating the Best Picture reel and you end on a clip of him walking out onto a balcony. Not that I wasn’t hoping The King’s Speech would win (LOVED IT!), but come the fuck ON. That’s not even fair.
3. Aaron Sorkin making reference to Paddy Chayefsky’s win for Network in his own victory speech? Writergasm.
4. Now, see, what I would have done if I were Steven Spielberg (because, let’s face it, he probably could have gotten away with picking anyone he wanted to) is come on with a top hat and a bunch of little slips of paper, written The King’s Speech on nine of them and Never Say Never on one, and more or less played Russian roulette with the Oscars.
5. Actually, most of my “what I’d do if I was the Academy” thoughts are in that same basic vein. Yet more evidence as to why I should never be in charge of anything. I’m an ass.
That feeling when you totally fucking nail a song in your voice lesson that’s from the show you just found out your department is doing next year, then remember that no matter what you do, nothing short of money, blood, or your soul will actually get you that role.
…the world wants to be your Valentine.
Some Things for this Monday, February 14, 2011:
1. Heard: Arcade Fire won best album at the Grammys.
Thought: “omg TOTALLY listened to them in ninth grade. sad they never really did better than Funeral.”
Realized: OH GOD I AM SUCH A FUCKING HIPSTER
2. I just opened an e-Valentine from my mother. It featured a talking pig, and from the looks of it, you could get the pig to say whatever you wanted it to. Mama used this to get the pig to tell me to have a doctor look at my throat, which has been sore for about a week. What.
3. I don’t care for Valentine’s Day, but Singles Awareness Day is completely ridiculous. I’ve been trying as hard as I can to come up with something clever that basically flips the bird to the holiday (a) while respecting the fact that some people might actually like it and (b) without making it look like this is some screed I wrote in my seventh grade Xanga where the text was red like my bleeding heart (God, I felt so many feelings), but I just can’t. I think I might just stick with what I told the friend I baked boozecakes for and skip ahead to St. Patrick’s Day.
Right now, I’m coloring my hair, baking boozecakes, and watching Sabado Gigante.
I’m not aware of any one minute that has ever defined my life so well.
I will also be jumping over moons and whatnot. Word on the street is there’s some kind of tango, too!
But seriously, two things:
1. I can’t believe my first musical ever gets to be Rent.
2. I can’t believe my first role in my first musical ever is Maureen.
My vocal chords are shaking in terror right now, but I’m so excited to show everyone my ass during the previously mentioned “La Vie Boheme” that I can’t even care.
I don’t know who I’m playing yet, and you’ll all know as soon as I do, but that doesn’t matter. What does, however, is that it just dawned on me is that no matter where my name pops up on that list, what’s happening is that I get to dance on a table and do “La Vie Boheme” in April.
This is just the fucking BEST.